A Midsummer's Night Text
by 2-feathers-and-a-stone
Summary: Nejis at Temari's house, Temaris naked, Shikas confused, Hinatas drunk, & Naruto fits into this somehow! Who could be to blame but Ino? Oh what fools these mortals be. ShikaTema Summer Fest 2011 submission!


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

So this is my entry to the ShikaTema Summer Fest 2011. This competition we were given a list of random prompts (things to inspire us from) For those of you wanting to know mine went a little something like this:

**Summer**: I'm busy. Studying. Naked.

**Seth**: And that's supposed to keep me away.

**Summer**: Cohen? You're at my house!

**Seth**: And you're dressed. I wonder who's more disappointed. -The O.C.

Everyone who knows my writing knows that this is going to get interesting! Enjoy!

P.s~ Note this is rated M for a reason *cough*Shika&Tema'sdirtymouth*cough* So if you don't like that stuff you best leave now.

**A Midsummer's Night Text**

Temari moaned as the sunlight started to fill up the room. Her head was pounding & she found the urge to empty the contents of her stomach on to the floor, an urge which she quickly suppressed. Taking a moment she sat up her head still spinning. It took another moment to realize she was sleeping on the floor still in her clothes using a couch cushion as a pillow. Looking behind her she saw Shikamaru still fast asleep laying the opposite direction of her."Why don't you just admit your dating already?" Temari was so out of it she jumped slightly at the voice before turning & seeing Ino sitting on a big puffy couch looking at her.

"Simple I'm not." Temari said as she used all her energy to get up. She hadn't noticed that they all drank so much last night but looking around the room it was plainly obvious with all the passed out bodies everywhere. She needed a shower & she needed it now, she had a lot of files to study for the up coming exams that had to be done today she couldn't afford to be hung over."It's totally obvious." Ino said with a stretch looking down at the calibration of cell phones on the table in front of her. For a moment Temari's heart jumped into her throat thinking that she'd been caught in something she didn't want to deal with. But she soon remember that all incriminating evidence was deleted before the party. Taking a breath quietly she looked at Ino. "Yeah you keep thinking that." She said as she walked to the bathroom.

Ino sat looking at all the cell phones on the table everyone seemed to have collectively placed them there. Probably to avoid any accidental drunk dialing. An idea crept into Ino's head as she picked up a phone."Oh what fools these mortals be." Ino said with a chuckle as she started pressing buttons. She was so preoccupied she didn't notice someone sit next to her. "It's like 7am & I'm hung over but your over here quoting Shakespeare? What's up?" Kiba said plopping down next to her."Just grab a phone & do what I tell you." She said still smirking she'd finally prove that the lazy Leaf ninja was dating the some what crazy Sand ninja.

Shikamaru sighed stretching in his chair he'd been busy studying files for the next Chunin exams coming up & he was starting to get really bored. With a sigh he reached over & grabbed his phone from the night stand if he had to work he might as well see if he could have some fun. Going through his contacts he hit a very familiar number.  
><em>"Hey. What are you doing?"<em>

Temari sighed she was supposed to be studying but she was bored out of her mind. If this kept up she was going to jump out the window. With a smile she grabbed her phone from the floor next to her. She needed some company bad so she texted.  
><em>"Last night was insane."<em>

Hinata was sitting in the kitchen helping prepare dinner when her phone made a very familiar noise. "Oh I got a text." She said picking up her phone opening it. What she saw almost caused her to faint right then & there. It was Naruto! Naruto texted her! Her of all people. She sat staring at the text wondering what to say. Why? Why was he texting her? Taking a big breath she texted back.  
><em>"Nothing. What are you doing?"<em>

Neji had just finished his training as he walked back into his bedroom to grab a towel so he could shower before dinner. That was when he heard his phone make a noise from the top of his dress. Seeing who it was he made a strange face.  
><em>"I don't remember anything about last night."<em>

Shikamaru looked at his phone as it signaled another text. Looking down he thought for a moment before texting back.  
><em>"Nothing much just checking on you make sure you are behaving. You are being a good girl aren't you?"<em>

Temari looked down at her phone the text came suddenly she couldn't help but smile someone wanted some attention she thought as she texted back.  
><em>"I know I feel the same way. This day is going so slow. Wish I could get a little entertainment ;)"<em>

Hinata looked down at her phone this time she couldn't breath. She couldn't even hear anything but her own blood pumping a mile a minute. What was she going to do? With a deep breath she did the only thing she could think of call Ino. After a minute of the phone ringing someone picked up.  
>"Hello?" Came the cheerily voice on the other end.<br>"Ino it's Hinata." The Hyuga said practically hyper ventilating.  
>"Hey Hinata what's wrong?"<br>"Naruto…he texted me & I…I think…I…." She stammered.  
>"You what? What did he tell you!" Ino practically demanded.<br>"I think he's hitting on me what should I do?" Hinata said not hearing the small laugh in the background.  
>"You have to go for it. This might be your only chance."<br>"I don't know….what should I do? I mean should I really?"  
>"Just tell me what he said &amp; do everything I say."<p>

Neji looked at the text so she was bored what was he supposed to do about it? With a sigh he texted back.  
><em>"Well what would you like from me?"<em>

Shikamaru looked at the text with a smile oh that girl always seemed to have a way with words he thought as he read over the text _"Well what happens if I'm not being good?"_ it read he almost wanted to run over there right now. Almost. He wasn't known as the lazy genius for nothing so he decided to buy his time for now.  
><em>"Well it depends on how bad your going to be. I might just have to put you over my knee &amp; show you some manners. Unless you can think a good way to apologize."<em>

Temari looked down at her phone as it went off again. She had to let out an annoyed noise this time. The boy could be way too dense sometimes.  
><em>"I don't know. Maybe come over &amp; help me?"<em>

Hinata could barely speak as she was on the phone with Ino. The young Hyuga had never heard something like that let alone from someone like him saying it to her. Her breath kept coming in shorter & shorter pants.  
>"I knew it! I knew he like he- ahhh I mean you! I knew Naruto liked you." Ino said a kind of triumph in her voice.<br>"I can't do this!" Hinata said letting out a little squeal.  
>"You have to Hinata this is the only way we're going to get this to work! You got to do it!"<br>"But I can't responds to that!"  
>"You WILL respond to that or I will come over there myself &amp; write the text for you!"<br>"ok….what should I say this time?"

Neji had just gotten out of the shower to find yet another text on his phone. With a sigh he replied to it again.  
><em>"Maybe you should get something to keep you busy?"<em>

_"Well maybe you should. What would I need to do to make it up to you?"_ Was the newest text message on his phone. Now much like any guy he was smiling ear to ear. That's one thing he always liked about that girl she had way with words like no other. (Or so he thought)  
><em>"Well first you can start by doing that thing I love with your mouth. Then idk maybe let me slowly take off every piece of cloths you have on. Then we can go from there."<em>

Temari looked at her phone her brow furrowed together if he was playing hard to get it as starting to get old quick. Taking her phone she decided she might need a little more direct about the whole thing. She sighed & started to texting.  
><em>"Well I am busy. I am busy. Studying. Naked."<em>

Ino couldn't help but let he mouth drop open hearing those words come out of Hinata's mouth made it even more shocking. She didn't have to see Hinata to know she was probably the darkest shade of red known to man kind.  
>"Wow….I did not know he had it in him." Ino said as Hinata a noise like a small animal getting kicked.<br>"I…I…..I….Naruto….he…I." She stumbled through her words.  
>"This is getting good." Ino said over her cell happy to know Hinata couldn't see her evil smirk.<br>"What do I do now?" Hinata asked as Ino thought for a few moments.  
>"Ok I know what we're going to do. Send this text &amp; I will be right over."<p>

Neji looked down at his phone earlier he had been more annoyed with the texting but now he couldn't help but wonder what exactly was going on. Well being a teen boy he had a good idea of what was going on but why him?  
><em>"And that's supposed to keep me away. I suppose."<em>

Shikamaru looked down at the text in his hands wow this was a lot even coming from her. _"Oh I can do more with this mouth then you knew possible. Then you can do what ever else you want with me for the rest of the night."_ Wow that was way more of a response then he was hoping for & he liked it.  
><em>"Just tell me when baby &amp; I'll be over."<em>

Temari let out an annoyed noise. This was past cute & past annoying. She was getting down right ticked off. If he kept this up she going to change her mind in general do things herself.  
><em>"No it means exactly the opposite! I heard you were smart so use your head. I will be here waiting for you naked in my bed. Use the normal entrance. I shall be waiting for 20mins. I promise you I'll even do that thing you like with my mouth where you close your eyes then I go down-" (Message 1 of 2)<em>

Hinata was almost having a panic attack as she listened to Ino's newest instructions. She couldn't do it. She just couldn't there was no way.  
>"Come on Hinata you know you want this. This is the time to do it! Your home by yourself just say yes!" Ino cheered on her friend.<br>"I…I….." Hinata said knowing it was useless trying to convince her otherwise.

Neji looked at the phone confused before he shrugged what thing he liked? Training? He went on to read the 2nd part of the text message as his eyes almost popped out of his head. "HELL YEAH!" Was all he could think of. Well if she wanted him that bad he guessed he would just have to follow orders he was always taught to respect women's wishes. Who was he to refuse orders. At least that's what he thought

Shikamaru looked at his phone with a smirk oh he knew the answer all ready. The girl couldn't go long by herself. Obvious by her newest text _"I want you to come over right now."_ He smirked if she wanted him there so bad he'd go. He would never turn down a girl that's too troublesome.  
><em>"Well then I am on my way you just hold tight. Don't start without me. I promise it will be worth it."<em>

Temari looked smirking in victory as she read the text the boy was too easy she knew it. Grabbing her phone she sent one last text before going to get herself ready.  
><em>"Hurry up. If you take too long I'm starting myself &amp; I am good at that."<em>

Ino ran up to the Hyuga house almost out breath it was a long way from her house & she ran faster then she had even on any of her missions. Knocking on the door she was greeted by a pale Hinata looking like she was about to faint.  
>"He's coming over!….Naruto is coming over." Her voice breaking every other word.<br>"I know it's nothing to worry about. I actually meant to tell you…." Ino started but was soon cut off seeing Neji running out of the complex as fast as he could heading towards the ambassador apartments.  
>"I don't know what to do Ino-chan!" The girl squealed as Ino was busy watching Neji run off.<br>'Oh this is getting good.' Ino thought to herself.  
>"Ino! What should I do?" Hinata said noticing the blonde wasn't paying any attention.<br>"Oh ummm….Open the door & throw him on the bed. Don't take no for an answer call me in the morning. I gotta go." Ino said sprinting off in the direction of Neji she knew this is where the fireworks were going down.

Naruto was sitting at his normal bench eating his late night ramen. He had just finished his bowl when he heard someone running almost for their life. He turned to see Neji running down the street looking more determined then Naruto had ever seen him. "Hey Neji what are you up to this late at night?" He called out to the boy.

"I don't have time to talk now." Neji said running past the ramen bar. He was running so fast he missed Naruto call out about having a book of Hinata's to bring back to her. He was also so busy he didn't notice a certain blond mind reader following him & then jumping in a bush by the window. Neji walked up to the apartment building taking a deep breath. He had never did anything like this before. But he was always taught to go along with what the girls want. Walking up to an apartment he vaguely remembered he knocked on the door praying it was the right one.

Temari sat up in her bed as she heard someone knock on her door. "Who could that be?" She wasn't expecting any guest, or well at least any guest that used her front door. Slipping on her black slick robe she walked through the living room to the front door. Opening the door she was taken back to see Neji.  
>"Neji? You're at my house!" The blonde said surprised &amp; almost a little disappointed.<br>"And you're dressed. I wonder who's more disappointed." Neji said looking at the girl sure she looked good in a short robe it just wasn't what he was promised.  
>"What are you talking about?" Temari said almost offended now.<br>"You're the one who invited me over!" Neji said crossing his arms she still looked at him confused before grabbing his arm & pulling him inside.

Shikamaru got to the ambassador apartments a lot quicker then normal. Of course this time he was a man on a mission. The kind of mission that men would walk around the world for. He jumped into the normal tree he used & peeked into the window. The room was pitch black & he couldn't see anyone inside that was odd. That's when he noticed the light was on in the living room. He had a clear view of both Temari & Neji sitting on the couch. Oh yeah he was pissed as he took out his phone once more.  
><em>"Is Neji there?"<em> He texted.

Hinata who had finally been able to control her breathing with a little help of her fathers hidden stash of Saki looked at the text. She had never been a drinker in fact she hated it but this would be the only chance she'd have. All her hopes & dreams of getting married & having kids were all riding on this & she couldn't faint. She looked down at the phone confused before typing back.  
><em>"No why?"<em>

Shikamaru looked at his phone oh he was really pissed off now. He sent another text as he watched the two sitting in the living room adamantly discussing something.  
><em>"You know I'm not into threesome especially with Neji."<em>

Hinata looked down at the phone she was starting to wonder if she was the one who had been drinking. These messages seemed to make less & less sense. But all she could was go with it for now.  
><em>"No threesome ok."<em>

Shikamaru kept in the tree the two seemed to be fighting about something now as his pocket vibrated. 'Oh great another text.' he thought but that's when it hit him. Something that should of hit him a long time ago. He'd been spying for a while she hadn't touched her phone. Opening the window he walked inside.

"What's going on? Why is he here?" Shikamaru said looking at Neji.  
>"I've been asking him the same thing!" The blonde said aggravated.<br>"For the last time you told me to come here! I've got the text to prove it!"  
>"Stop lying!" Temari said Shikamaru put a hand on her shoulder.<br>"No I think he's right." Shikamaru said Temari looked at him offended but he cut her off before she could say anything. "Text me."  
>"Text you? Text you what?" Temari asked confused as he handed her, her cell.<br>"I don't care but don't say it out loud." He said as they all sat silently till there came a noise. Neji pulled out his phone.  
>"What's it say?" Shikamaru asked sitting down lazily on the couch.<br>_"It says fuck you cry baby lazy ass excuse of a man."_ Neji read out loud sounding confused Shikamaru just smirked.  
>"Seems someone fucked with your phone." He said looking at Temari who was now redder then anyone ever seen her both from embarrassment &amp; anger.<br>"Wait what about you? Can you text me?" She said he just shrugged pulling out his phone typing something. They wait as silence filled the room the text never coming.  
>"So let's see you thought you were texting me when you were texting Neji. I don't know whose been getting my text but god they got a worse mouth then you Temari. Neji who have you been texting?" Shikamaru said sitting from his spot on the couch.<br>"I knew I was texting Temari." He said getting a death glare from both. "Hey you can't blame me for trying."  
>"So who ever it was they had to do it sometime Neji wasn't around." Temari mused out loud.<br>"Like the party." Shikamaru finished as Temari let out a loud noise.  
>"INO! I saw her when I got up she playing with the phones!" The girl fumed.<br>"Well too bad it's so late she could be anywhere right now." Shikamaru said as they all heard something from outside.  
><strong>"Byakagun!"<strong> Neji called out looking around before let out a small chuckle. "Or she could be right outside your window."  
>"That's it! Oh she's so dead!" Temari said grabbing her fan as she bolted out the door the other two following close behind.<br>"You know something Shikamaru this is what I really wanted. Some training." Neji said focusing straight ahead as Ino ran being followed closely by a screaming swearing Sand ninja wearing nothing more then a skimpy black robe.  
>"Troublesome." Shikamaru muttered.<p>

Hinata was sitting by herself in the kitchen. It had been close to an hour since she got the text. _"Relax."_ She sighed that must of meant he wasn't going to show up. Of course he wouldn't. He was the village hero & she was the girl that couldn't talk to him without fainting. That was until she heard a knock at the door. It was probably Ino she thought as she walked glumly to the door opening it. Surprised she came face to face with none other then Naruto who was standing there with a big smile & a book tucked under his arm.  
>"Oh Hinata hey! I have something for you." He said looking at the girl.<br>"I know." Hinata said pulling the hyperactive blonde inside her house.  
>"Hi-Hinata what are you doing? Where are we going? Is this is your bedroom?" Was all that could be heard from outside.<p>

* * *

><p>So there you go I hope you guys found it as funny as I did! : ) Remember as always R&amp;R<p>

Cheap pop here! If you found this funny please check out the story Lee's Fantastic Discovery by Maddog24 I helped beta it & I must say I still snort reading it even thought I've read it 20million times!


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